An Unconventional Family Gathering
by gypsy rosalie
Summary: The crew of Starship 15A2 attempt to celebrate the festive season while stuck in deep space. Mayhem, embarrassment and a hunt for a Christmas tree on an alien planet ensue. Three-shot, with a side order of TUp and Spayonder.


**Well, I'm back, after a long fanfiction drought which I blame entirely on uni. I haven't written any Starship stuff for ages, so I feel a little out of it, but hopefully this turned out ok. I'm planning to make it a three-shot, or maybe a two-shot depending on how much time I have (I'm going on vacation and getting back very close to Christmas). There will be some TUp and Spayonder along the way, and anyway, I'm going to stop rambling and leave you to enjoy, if that's at all possible.**

* * *

**Part One- Trees and Tantrums**

'February?' Bug asked, his compound eyes large and confused, 'what's a Christmas?'

You could have knocked the schience officer over with a feather. She turned to her insect partner with a look of shock horror.

'What's _Christmas? _Oh, Bug, Christmas is the most wonderful time of the year! There's music and celebration and presents- does this mean,' her face paled even more, 'you haven't got a present for _me?'_

Bug clicked his pincers awkwardly. All these human traditions to remember- he'd had a hard enough time wrapping his head around birthdays; bugs couldn't care less what day they hatched- how many times a year did humans _need _to be given presents?

'Well, um,' he began, 'I had no idea it was your Christmas, February! If I'd known, I-'

'It's not _mine,_ Bug!' February giggled, flopping back onto her bed. 'It's _everyone's!_'

'You mean,' said the insect-ranger, trying to get his antennae round the concept, 'everyone has their Christmas at the _same time?'_

'Well, _duh!'_ she threw up her hands. 'It's a time of year when everyone gets together with their loved ones- or at least we _would,_ if it wasn't for this stupid mission.' The smile melted off her face, and was instantly replaced with a pout. 'It's just not _fair!_ How are we supposed to have a great Christmas in _outer space-_ no families, no proper dinner, no Christmas shopping!' That last one made the schience officer nearly burst into tears. 'It would have been so great if we could've gone- I could have taken you to all my favourite stores and helped you pick out pretty things to buy for me!'

Bug nodded in an attempt to seem sympathetic, though he was still unsure just what he was supposed to be feeling right now. 'Um, February?'

'Yes, Bug?' February whispered melodramatically, sneaking glances at herself in the mirror to see if she was pulling off the beautifully-heartbroken-heroine look.

'How long do we have to stay in here and sulk?'

February sat up and folded her arms in a huff. 'Until that mean Commander Up says we can go home!'

The entire crew had been in a collective foul mood, which had been downright impossible to shake off since they had been informed they were being given a mission over the Christmas period, and that they would be spending the most joyous holiday of the year in deep space. A cry of disappointment had risen up when the General had contacted the starship to relay this information, and more than one item had been thrown at the vid-screen, causing him to hastily switch it off at his end.

Everyone had had plans, and although Up was just as disappointed as the rest of them, the entire group had turned the brunt of their rage on him, and refused to budge from their quarters until he found a way to rectify the situation and have them taken off the roster for Christmas duty.

The Commander was now standing in the hallway, trying and failing to talk sense into a long line of closed doors, and using up all his willpower forcing himself not to break down into tears.

'Come on, kids!' he shouted down the passage, his voice echoing off the metal walls, 'don't all cold-shoulder me! It ain't my fault! Stop bein' so mean to me! We'll think o' something, I promise!' Silence, then the unmistakeable _thunk_ of Taz heaving something heavy at her door. '_¡Callate! _Stop _whining!'_ There was a pause. 'Ees _our _turn!'

'Aw, Taaaaaz!'

The door he was leaning on slid away at lightning speed, and Up nearly fell through the doorway onto Taz. She leaned against the opening with a ferocious scowl. 'I t'ought I just said to stop whining!'

Up took a step back to survey her. She was a little pink in the face, and he wasn't sure, but underneath her rather-annoyed facial expression there were little hints peeking out that suggested she'd been crying- a few damp patches around and under her eyes, the way her mouth kept trying to twitch into a different shape. He knew the General's decision had hit her pretty hard- Taz rarely saw the few remaining members of her family, and Christmas was one of the few opportunities she got. She would always take off for a week, take one of the drop pods and go back to Mexico, occasionally taking Up with her. When there, he had seen sides of her she never showed in the Starship rangers- an incredibly playful, almost childish Taz around her surviving relatives, and a sensitive, far more caring Taz than the girl who constantly threatened her colleagues with a knife, as she set about devoting time and energy to help those families still trying to recover from the Robot Wars.

She always looked so incredibly happy and alive there, her eyes lighting up in a most wonderful way, something inside her fairly glowing at the chance to do everything she could for the people she loved most, and Up couldn't blame her for being upset.

For a moment all he wanted to do was reach his arms out and envelop her in a hug, but, after examining her face again and reflecting on the sort of mood she was in, he decided the risk wasn't worth the set of black eyes that would inevitably follow.

He settled for a hand on her shoulder instead.

'Taz,' he began, biting his lip and wondering how to proceed. 'Taz, uh…I know this ain't…the best news in the world for ya.'

'Jou can say dat again,' Taz growled.

'But…ain't there some way we can get through this?'

Taz pretended she hadn't heard this last comment.

'I mean, you're always tellin' me ter get back on my feet, to get over all the stuff that's happened to me- you helped me get back up! If I'da done somethin' like this you woulda kicked my ass for it!'

The Lieutenant glared at him, but her sharp exhale indicated she was considering conceding.

'Remember what you told me I told you you told me I told you? That no matter how hard…'

'Jou get knocked down jou always gotta get back up? Jeah, I remember dat.'

Up sighed with relief. Now they were getting somewhere. Taz wasn't the sort of ranger who'd ever like to be seen as a coward or hypocrite- she'd rather be seen dead. Actually, when you came to think about it, she'd rather be seen dead than do a lot of things, many of which bordered on trivial, but he wouldn't dwell on that now.

The important thing was that she'd remember her words, or rather her words that she'd recycled from him from when he gave them to her, and realise she wasn't embodying the tough starship ranger values she so frequently reminded everyone of. If anyone complained about an assignment they'd been given, she would be the first to shout at them to get over it and remember they were here to get the job done.

So surely now, no matter how disappointed she was, she would pull herself together and help him tackle the rest of the crew.

'I do remember dat,' Taz repeated, seemingly thinking it over, and then she looked up at him. Her face, which had slowly restoring itself, mutated back into a scowl. 'But dis is not about me bein' knocked down, _idiota!_ Dis is about _all of us _bein' _enfadados_, because our Commander _est__ú__pido _di'n properly check the G.L.E.E. schedule and got us landed wid a mission at Christmas!' She shot him a filthy look and retreated to her room, slamming the button so the door slid hastily shut in front of his face.

'It ain't my fault!' Up whined, but there was no response. 'Aw, c'mon! You cain't all blame me!'

More silence.

'_Okay, _so I goofed! I shoulda checked the schedule better, and I shoulda requested the time off before it was too late, but come _on!_ We'd just come back from a mission! I was tired, guys! Bein' badass and gunnin' down aliens is hard work!'

Up was aware at this moment he didn't sound in the least bit badass. He just sounded pathetic, a desperado trying far too hard to win forgiveness and cheer he didn't deserve. Still, he had to try.

He'd always been a softie when it came to Christmas, even before his injury and before the 'Sir I wanna buy these shoes' song had had such a big effect on his life. And he couldn't bear the idea of spending his holiday season being ignored by his friends.

'Aw, won't you guys _even _ try ter see the bright side o' this?'

Five doors slid open a smidgeon, and Up's heart soared.

The response was unanimous. 'NO!'

And the doors slammed shut once again, leaving the Commander to put his head in his hands and groan.

* * *

It took another several hours before he managed to coax any of the crew out of the rooms, and even then Up wasn't too confident in his own negotiating skills, attributing most of the emergences to the fact that it was now rather late and they were getting hungry. Sure enough, the instant each door opened, the occupants of the room immediately pushed past up and converged on the food set out in the dining hall, completely disregarding the Commander and any attempts to start a conversation he sent their way.

Up couldn't actually remember how he eventually managed to gather them all together and assemble them into something that vaguely resembled a crew meeting, but even though the whole lot of them were now in one place, they were no more cooperative. The instant he started to speak there was an immediate uproar as everyone started shouting their complaints over the top of one another.

'I know, I know, we all had plans, and we all miss our families,' Up said, holding up his hands. 'But we cain't get outta this- we gotta make the most of it. And think about it, guys- everythin' we've been through this year! We've gotten through dangerous missions, we've found love,' he paused to smile at Bug and February and then Tootsie and Megagirl, 'sure found it in the weirdest places…and I've even noticed we don't try to kill each other as much.' He glanced over at Krayonder and Taz, the latter of whom was sliding her right hand towards her knife holster.

'Well…_as _much. We've kinda learned to get along, gotten closer…' the annoyed looks Taz was alternating between shooting him and Krayonder made him realise if he went on down this trail of thought he was likely to lose credibility. 'Well, anyway, we're all sore about bein' away from our families, but, I figured, if ya think about it, we kinda _are_ a family! Right?' He looked up at the group, triumphantly expectant. That was a pretty rousing speech, he thought- not, perhaps, as terrifying and awe-inspiring as the ones about dying in a good cause, but the team needed something that would cheer them up rather than scare them right now.

'No,' said Taz.

'No,' said Megagirl.

'No,' said Specs.

'No,' said Krayonder, obviously trying to copy Specs to curry her favour.

'Y'all sure don't look like stacks o'hay to me,' said Tootsie.

February said nothing, just flipped out a compact and started checking her makeup.

Up's shoulders slumped. 'Well, sheesh, you guys are gonna be great fun, ain'tcha?' he grumbled. 'C'mooon, we ain't gonna git knocked down by this! We're all tough sonovabitches, ain't we?' He shot a hopeful glance at Taz, desperately clinging to the notion that perhaps this might help sway her, and she would jump to his aid and start telling the others to toughen up.

'We cain't let this get us down! Even if we do have a job to do, well, we're Starship Rangers! We're gonna get that job done, and do the best damn job any fire-truckin' starship rangers ever did! Whaddya say?'

Up paused, waiting for some sort of enthusiastic response, in which everyone would buck up and bravely announce that they were going to do their gosh-darnedest to complete the mission.

He got no such response. On the contrary, everyone's expressions and stances increased in sulkiness by about fifty per cent.

This was not fair! Did they not realise how hard it was for him?! He'd only just got his courage back a few months ago- it was difficult enough trying to curb his own feelings about the matter and put a brave face on it, without having to try to do it for everyone else too. The urge to sneak into his room and retrieve his old mirror was becoming stronger by the second, and suddenly he longed to be shut up in his quarters with a nice, bubbly bath, away from all his grumpy friends and his duties and any talk of Christmas missions.

He had one last go at exerting some sort of encouraging leadership and saying something that might change their minds, but seeing as the words _oh come ooooon_ whined their way out of his mouth instead, he decided it would be better to give this approach for a while.

There was another, even longer silence, during which time Up fiddled with his moustache in an attempt to relieve his own nervous tension, but only resulted him ripping the damn thing from his face and ending up with a crumpled mess in the palm of his hand.

'Well, I don't really mind…'Bug began, starting to stand up, but February snatched hold of his arm and pulled him back into his seat.

'The feeble traditions of you humans are nothing to me,' Megagirl said, getting to her own feet with a squeak of her joints. 'My duties do not involve conforming to meaningless celebrations, merely to serve the Galactic League.'

'_Meaningless_?!' everyone immediately shouted, turning on her.

'Do jou want me to blow jour head off?!' Taz had managed to produce two hand-zappers from the blue, and both of them were now pointed at the robot.

'Heeeey! That's muh wifey you're talkin' bout!' Tootsie protested, and then the room exploded into a brawl, everyone hurling physical and verbal abuse at everyone else, not even seeming to care who they were attacking or why.

Up twisted his moustache into a skinny mess of a rat's tail, glancing from one to the other. Damn. It would be New Year's before they'd even be on good terms with each other, he thought miserably.

* * *

'Can I get a reading, Specs?'

'Sure thing, Commander. Tree planet approaching. Course locked in. Estimated time of arrival: ten minutes.'

Up had finally managed to patch things up with the rest of the crew, but it had taken nearly a week and a whole lot of persuading. In his desperation, he'd turned to Bug for help, begging the insect to remind the others that down on Bug World his people had never even had so much of a Christmas. They hadn't been terribly convinced, but Up had worked at them, repeating and insisting on the idea that, whether they accepted it or not, all that they'd been through over the past few months had bonded the crew together as if they were a family of sorts, and promising that, as they weren't scheduled to reach the planet they were assigned to scour until the day after Boxing Day, they could have their own little celebration together.

That had had a little more of an effect. The promise of a Christmas celebration, even if it would be in deep space and they would have to improvise what they didn't already have, helped gently guide the rangers towards putting aside their anger at Up.

Well, that, and the promise of a pay rise when they got back to earth.

They were now well into phase one of Up's plan to 'Christmassify' the ship- get hold of a tree. Megagirl's remote access to the internet had come in handy, and despite a few protests at being used as a search engine, Specs had plugged her into the ship's computer and scoured the galaxy for the closest one. The search had yielded three planets that Space-Claw, in one of his weird scientific experiments, had attempted to colonise with various different types of flora to see how they flourished in different soils and atmospheres, and Up, delighted, had set a course for one immediately.

'Well hot daaamn, Megagirl!' Tootsie was saying, peering through one of the ship's portholes for a first glimpse of their destination. 'You sure are a smarty, findin' them trees!'

Nobody could be bothered to point out that she did nothing more than plug herself in, and that it was, in fact, Specs who had done the actual search.

'Boy, it woulda been great to take you down to Farm Planet for Christmas, though,' Tootsie went on. 'I coulda inter-duced you to all my family- the people-s and the haystacks- girl, you'da loved 'em!'

'Haystacks are unimportant to me,' Megagirl said, 'as are all humans, apart from you. I have not yet downloaded enough tolerance for anyone else.'

'Aw, I love it when you use that fancy-talk,' Tootsie said adoringly, and then segued straight back into his monologue. 'Where I come from, Farm Planet, it's real nice this time o' year! We gather 'round and sing ploughin' songs, and Santy Claws comes round! He's a great rooster, brings all the li'l chillens and haybales presents, and…'

'Did I just hear the word 'rooster'?' Specs muttered.

Taz, who was sitting beside her and pretending to sulk out the window, nodded.

'Dis whole t'ing is stupid,' the Lieutenant muttered. 'I don' wanna be spendin' dis week wishin' _Feliz Navidad_ to dat _idiota _and de metal bitch he married, and…' she made a face, '_Krayonder._ If Up wasn't my best friend, I would _not_ be takin' any part in dis. And I tell jou now- if anyone makes any dumbass remarks about timber when we hack dis tree down, dey will be getting' a punch in de face. '

It was Specs's turn to nod, if only to appease her Lieutenant by pretending to sympathise and thus avoid getting a punch in the face herself.

'I bet jou don' mind spendin' Christmas wid Krayonder though,' Taz said bluntly, and the bespectacled ranger reddened.

'What-what-what the hell do you mean?'

Taz just gave her a _don't-play-dumb-with-me-I've-seen-the-way-you-look-at-him_ look.

Specs's eyes narrowed, and she turned to face Taz full on. 'Well I hypothesize that _you_ won't mind spending Christmas with the _Commander,_ if you know what I mean!'

Taz's lantern jaw dropped. 'What de hell do _jou_ mean, jou-'

'Hey, guys!' Bug's shout from across the other side of the command deck saved both of them from the increasingly embarrassing conversation. 'I think I see something!'

* * *

The tree planet was more than beautiful- it was truly amazing to behold, an array of every shade of green they'd ever thought possible all melting into one another so the overall effect looked something like a litmus test. Every ranger, robots and bad-tempered Hispanics included, gazed at the sight with at least one awed sigh as they floated into its orbit. Specs punched in the coordinates for the evergreen area of the planet, and the drop pod descended into a dense growth of pines probably bigger than Taz's entire village in Mexico or Tootsie's family farm.

The hatch lowered, and Up stood in front of his crew, attempting a stern gaze.

'All right then boys an' girls- I know it's pretty out there, and there're loads o' trees to choose from, but we gotta be quick, and we gotta be considerate. Don't get carried away and start choppin' just as soon as we git out there- we only need _one tree._' He paused, considering something. 'That means- and I know this sounds near downright impossible to you guys- y'all are gonna hafta cooperate with each other and agree amongst yerselves, oka- _Taz!_'

Up stopped short at the sight of his Lieutenant, standing in classic battle pose, zapper raised shoulder-high. He groaned.

'Aw, _come on, Taz,_ this is a peaceful mis-heck, it ain't even a mission! What d'ya need yer gun for?'

Taz jutted her chin out. 'Jou never know- de second we step outta dis ship we could be gunned down-'

Up groaned again. 'Put it _away_, Taz! There ain't gonna be anyone gunnin' us down on a planet full o' damn trees! There ain't even any life forms here- apart from the plants, o'course- if there were, Megagirl woulda picked 'em up right away! Right, Megagirl?'

He turned to the robot, who gave him a rather…_smug_ looking look. Up shrugged, turning back to Taz. 'Put it away, and that's an order!'

'Fine,' Taz growled, yanking the strap of her zapper off from round her shoulder and having the gun across the pod. 'jou happy now, _¿ese?_ But when we get attacked, jou'll be sorry I don't got my gun.' She stomped towards the hatchway, then turned. 'And I'm _still _takin' my knife,' she added with a scowl.

Up rolled his eyes, supposing this was probably the best he could expect.

'Come on then, rangers,' he sighed, 'let's go bag us a tree.'

They clomped out of the pod single file, breathing in the fragrant smell of thousands of Christmas trees, each starship ranger drinking the scene and reminiscing to themselves about some different happy memory it brought back. There were so many pines here, surrounding them on every side as far as the eye could see- how would they ever pick one out?

'Up…um, I don't wanna scare you,' February wheedled from behind the Commander, running one hand through her perfectly styled blonde hair, 'but, um, I think we might be in trouble.'

Everyone spun round at once, identical looks of terror fixed on most of the faces of the crew. Taz had already unsheathed her knife before the schience officer had finished her sentence.

'What de hell do jou mean 'in trouble'?'

'Um, I was reading my reading-thing,' February said informatively, holding up her psi-scan, 'and the air contains lots and lots of that oxy-gen stuff!'

There was a loud groan from all her cohort. Taz issued forth several unnecessarily loud expletives.

'_Por supuesto_, jou stupid girl! How de hell do jou t'ink we're breathin'?'

February gave her an uncomprehending look. Taz turned away with a growl, muttering coarsely and rapidly to herself in Spanish. Up just smiled patronisingly.

'Don't freak about the oxygen, kid,' he said gently, ignoring the harrumph that came from his second-in-command about his not-so-tough response. 'So, everyone, got any ideas about the Christmas tree?'

'That one,' seven voices chorused in unison, each ranger pointing in a different direction. Up sighed. How had he _ever_ deluded himself into thinking this would be _simple?_

* * *

'You ready, Megagirl? Positions, everyone!'

It had taken two hours- two damn hours- to complete the simple task of picking out a tree. It seemed, to Up's dismay, that everyone had a hundred different reasons why they considered their tree the better choice, and it had taken at least ninety minutes of shouting (Taz), whingeing (February), annoying words like 'dude' (Krayonder) and scientific blabbering (Specs) before the Commander had cracked, roaring at the whole lot to shut up. He'd then taken it upon himself to compile a list of practical qualities the tree had to have- being small enough to actually fit in the drop pod, for instance-and they'd gone over each of the candidates, checking off how many of the 'musts' on the list they fit.

The final decision of Megagirl's tree had resulted in a great deal of sulking and smug anti-human boasts from the robot herself, which had lasted nearly another half hour. Up looked down miserably at his watch. He'd expected to have the damn thing up and decorated by now, not to still be standing here bickering and not getting anything done. He decided to scrap his plans for a group vacation next summer. Or ever.

'All right, let 'er rip!'

Megagirl's hands had been replaced with two powerful chainsaws, which whirred and whined as they chewed through the trunk of the evergreen.

The sound set Up's teeth on edge, and he shuddered involuntarily. They weren't circular buzz-saws, he told himself, forcing himself not to screw his eyes shut. And this wasn't an autobot, it was Megagirl, his friend, cutting the trunk of a tree, not horizontally across, not cutting him vertically in half like a hotd-

The next thing Up knew he was double over, the intersection between his human and robot side tingling unpleasantly, his stomach dancing like it wanted to tumble out of his throat and escape his body. He stuck his head between his knees, trying to force air in and out of his lungs, but breathing was proving too difficult, and his vision swam before his eyes.

Then just as suddenly as this onslaught of nausea had come on, the sawing noise had ceased, and two small hands were on his back, alternating between rubbing and thumping it.

'Jou stupid robot!' came a shrill voice, which Up recognised as belonging to the person comforting him. 'Jou _perra_, can't jou _see_ he can't take dat noise?'

'The volume of the saw did not exceed the rate of –one-twenty- decibels,' Megagirl droned, 'therefore there is no possibility of it damaging human hearing.'

Taz's hands tensed on Up's back, and he could tell she was thinking about tearing the robot's face off.

'Ees hurtin' him, _idiota!_ Don't jou know what he's suffered?'

'The Commander's medical files are stored in my database,' Megagirl replied casually.

Taz's hands clenched against his back now, and he could feel her nails making little dents in his skin. 'Den _why_ would jou-'

'I am a robot, and while I have occupied some of my time perusing the inter-web for new emotions to download, sympathy is still a concept foreign and alien to me. It therefore did not occur to me to cater for the Commander's –pathetic- weaknesses- as they did not affect me.'

Taz unlatched her claws from Up and, with a ferocious, inhuman noise, leapt at Megagirl. Up acted without thinking, his nausea and hyperventilation all but forgotten as he straightened up and grabbed her round the waist.

'Okay, Taz, just calm down…' he was still shaking, but he held onto her tightly, using every ounce of his strength to stop the Lieutenant tearing one of their crewmembers apart. That was _all_ they needed this close to Christmas. 'Taz, it's okay…'

'Ees _not_ okay!' she growled. 'Dat _robota est__ú__pida_ just t'inks she can…'

'Taz, really, I'm fine!' Up insisted. 'We'll just hafta find another way to cut down the tree, is all.' His breathing was slowly returning to normal, his fears subsiding and being replaced with a funny little feeling of joy. Maybe it was just Taz's prejudice against all things mechanical that had turned her rage towards Megagirl, and if she hadn't been around it would be him taking the rap, but Up couldn't help being pleased that she was, for once, not jumping down his throat about him not being 'tough enough.'

The Lieutenant stopped struggling, slumping back against him. 'Fine,' she snapped, 'but dat tin can had better put dose saws away or I will unscrew-'

'Then how're we gonna get the tree, dude?' Krayonder interrupted before Taz could get to the graphic part of her threat, trying not to look terrified as she whipped out her knife and pointed it at him.

'I gots an idea!'

Everyone turned to Tootsie in surprise.

'Why,' the farmer declared, 'back on Farm Planet- that's where I come from, see- when we was buildin' the stables…'

'Oh, SHUT UP!' The saw incident had certainly blackened Taz's mood, not that it was all that bright to begin with, and she now swung her blade around so it was facing the hick. 'Get on wid it! What _is_ jour idea?'

* * *

'_Gonna chop a pine tree, gonna chop a pine tree, like mah Momma taught meeee…' _ red-faced, sweating, Tootsie Megagirl was still unrealistically optimistic after four hours of non-stop chopping with a blunt axe. It had taken longer than expected just to even make a dent in the tree's trunk, and the crew had had to sit through a Taz-lecture on the different ways she would violently kill the next person who asked when it would be ready, an Up-lecture on how they should all try to get along and work as a team, a Megagirl-lecture on how humans were pathetic and a February-lecture about a fluorescent Christmas tree she'd had once. Everyone was fed up, and the sigh of the group when Tootsie finally stopped singing and announced he was nearly done was so loud it could have been heard on several neighbouring planets.

Getting up from their various flopped-out positions on the ground, the rangers gathered round.

Tootsie delivered the final blow, and with a creak, the colossal evergreen swayed, then flopped to the ground with a mighty crash.

'Tim-berrrrrr!' Krayonder crowed.

And before he could blink, Taz's fist had slammed into his face, sending him flying a good few feet. Krayonder landed face-first in the dirt, the breath knocked out of him, and as he struggled to get up, panting, everyone could clearly see the dark flush growing around his left eye.

Taz smacked her fist against her hand. 'I told jou what would happen if anyone said anyt'in' stupid.'

'You-never t-ld an-thing,' Krayonder wheezed, his protest having less effect than he would have liked. The Lieutenant glared.

She was advancing on him again, fist bared and ready, and Up saw fit to intervene.

'Now, now!' he leapt in between the two rangers, holding out his arms to keep them apart, ' ain't no use fightin' over that! Come on, you guys! We just bagged ourselves a tree! Where's yer Christmas spirit?'

Taz muttered something that sounded suspiciously like _the robots probably killed it_, but nonetheless shrugged and halted her assault on Krayonder and turned to face the tree.

'Dis t'ing is _muy grande._' She squinted, sizing it up, and Up could practically see the gears clicking away in her brain as she tried to work out if she could lift it on her own.

She stooped, bending her knees and trying to get her arms round the massive trunk, and the others stifled snorts as she heaved at it, attempting to get it over her shoulder.

'Are you sure you don't need some help there, Taz?' Bug ventured, but hastily backed off as soon as the Lieutenant turned her face in his direction and he got an eyeful of what Krayonder referred to as her 'scary Taz' expression.

'Don' patronise me, _idiota!_ I can do dis without…'

'Guys! Guys!' Specs waved her hands. 'You can argue about carrying the tree later! My spectrometer is picking up a reading- several living organisms all approaching out sector at an impressive speed!'

Megagirl made a screeching noise and conducted her own scan, somewhat annoyed about the prospect of being outdone by a human, and relayed the same information again.

'I don't see anything,' February looked around, her bob swishing as she spun from left to right, craning her neck. 'What organs? Eww, are they, like, floating around?'

Something large and furry scuttled through the trees, and the schience officer jumped back with a squeak. 'Was that one of the organs? Guys?'

Another furry thing flashed past, and the group of rangers instinctively gravitated towards each other, forming a huddle as more of the strange things appeared.

'We're on a damned _tree_ planet,' Up muttered. 'What the heck kinda animals would there be on a planet that Space-Claw just dumped his tree experiments on?'

'Uh, Commander,' Specs tapped him on the shoulder. 'According to the online records, part of Space-Claw's experiment involved subjecting certain trees to radiation to see if it affected their growth. If any animals got in the way, well…who knows how mutated they got!'

A low growl sounded, and the first of the creatures emerged, revealing itself.

It was a squirrel.

Maybe a bit larger than your average squirrel, but the thing was adorable, and the crew all heaved a collective sigh of relief.

'Well,' said Up, 'I think we can safely go back ter fightin' over who gets to carry the- aargh!' The Commander's attempt at a joke was cut off by his own scream, as the squirrel opened its mouth, revealing a rather deadly-looking pair of saber fangs.

Everyone reacted at once. Tootsie grabbed hold of Megagirl. Febuary cowered behind Bug. Taz leapt on Up's back, nearly knocking him right off balance and onto his face. Krayonder and Specs flew into each other's arms, only to jump apart.

The mutant squirrel made a strange, baying noise, and all of a sudden there were a million of them, seemingly appearing from nowhere and scuttling to surround the clearing where the starship rangers were assembled.

From up on the Commander's back, Taz made a ferocious noise. '_Now_ tell me leavin' my zapper behind was a good idea!'

* * *

**Well, there you have the first chapter. Upcoming holiday fun for our favourite rangers will involve mistletoe, drinking, surprise presents and an infamously sad Christmas commercial. Stay tuned!**


End file.
